Forgive, and let go

Memories haunting.
Distant pain still hurting.
Immerse in work to block it out.
Pain comes back in quiet times.

What's going on?

The hurt, the pain, make it go away.
Make the memories fade.
Somebody, please tell me how!
I don't know what to do.

I stop feeling pain.
I feel guilt for stopping the pain.
I feel pain again because I don't know what to do.
Misplaced emotions.
It's not my fault.
I got hurt so I feel pain.
Can't I choose to stop the pain?

Why can't I break free?

Forgiveness. Such a strange concept.
To no longer harbor negative feelings towards the causer of pain?
To forgive and let go. Let go of pain. How to do? How to stop the feelings?
How to decide the past no longer matters? Forgive, and forget?

No. Not forget. Forgive, and move on.
But remember the past. Lessons to be learned.

It's not easy and has been a long road.
One day you realize life has been put on hold.
You can't fully enjoy life.
You know you must forgive, let go, and move on.

Getting closer.

Your life is important.
More important than the pain.
The causer of pain does not know of your pain.
May not even care.
Why not forgive, and move on?
Life is too short to remain stuck in the past.

Pain no longer serves me. It holds me back.
What was, just was. The past is jus that; the past.
I need to look to the future. Remaining mad; does it serve a purpose anymore?
Has it even ever? How about the guilt?

Almost there.

Must realize, guilt is misplaced. Guilt, because the pain became part of life.
Have not known anything else for a long time.
Don't know how to feel anything but pain.
Or guilt for not feeling it. It is comfortable and familiar in a strange way.

I am there. Moving on.

I let go and I feel empty. But it's okay. I'm not alone.
Forgive the hurt done to me.
Nothing else matters. I am moving on.
Closing a chapter of my life.
I'm looking back at it through a looking glass.

It no longer hurts.
Free at last!
I feel liberared, but why did it take so long?
It matters not. All that matters is I am here. Now.

Forgiveness, the key to life.
You can't not get hurt, it is part of life.
Please forgive, don't make my mistakes.
Life is too short to be bitter.
Too short to be resentful.
You only hurt yourself, not the person who hurt you.
Don't misplace your emotions.

Forgive.
Let go.
Move on.
Live.

Gerard Beekmans